


Beat of My Heart

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Kissing, Love, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kisame knows that Itachi is going to die for Sasuke's sake. That still doesn't make the final good bye any easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beat of My Heart

"Orochimaru is dead." The statement was met with a heavy, astonished silence. "Uchiha Sasuke has killed him."

There wasn't an uproar, really. The Akatuski was made up of seven of the most powerful, most deadly ninja to roam the earth. They most certainly weren't going to express their surprise at a mere teenager defeating their former comrade. Really, there was nothing more than six pairs of raised eyebrows and a slight glance of concern from a blue-faced man to the one with bright red eyes.

In the end, it was Deidara who broke the silence, though most everyone was wondering why in the world it hadn't been Tobi. Maybe being Tobi's partner for so long had caused some of the hyperactive, masked ninja's mannerisms to rub off on the feminine blonde.

"Who should we take down first, Tobi, un?" Deidara smirked. "The Kyuubi's cage or Sasuke?"

"H-h-hey, Senpai, why would we fight Sasuke? He doesn't have a Bijuu!" Tobi exclaimed, waving his arms about to make sure he had his Senpai's attention.

"Because Sasuke killed Orochimaru. _I_ was supposed to be the one to kill Orochimaru," Deidara rolled his almond-shaped blue eye. "Come, Tobi. We're leaving."

"B-b-but Senpai! Which one are we going to fight?"

"Whichever one we come across first!" Deidara had a crazy glint in his eye as both he and Tobi disappeared from the cave. The blue-faced man continued giving short, sideways glances to the red-eyed one, but the red-eyed one was stoic, refusing to change his expression in the least. Only sheer conjecture could be made about how he truly felt about the blonde Akatsuki member encroaching on the only two people the red-eyed one would most like to fight.

It was not soon after this outburst that Pain dismissed the remaining four Akatsuki members. Konan faded to spend some time with the leader himself. Zetsu was already halfway gone, eager to see what had become of Deidara since he had left. This left the blue-faced man alone with his red-eyed partner.

"Are you okay with this, Itachi?" Kisame muttered, worried that Pain could still be somewhere nearby, eavesdropping.

"Okay with what, dare I ask?" Itachi responded darkly.

"Deidara going after what is unmistakably yours. The Kyuubi and your brother. What if Deidara wins and you lose Sasuke?"

"That won't happen. But if, by some crazy coincidence Deidara wins, I will kill him myself soon after."

Kisame shivered at the threat in the tone, but did not react further. He knew the threat was empty; Itachi would never have the gall to kill Deidara. The most Kisame's little pacifist would do to the insane artist was torture him for a bit with his Tsoukoyumi. Deidara would certainly be fearing for his life, but he would not lose it in the end.

"I'm tired, Kisame," Itachi stated. It did not sound like an invitation, and if he had said it in the presence of anyone else, no one would have interpreted it as such. Yet, Kisame knew every tone of Uchiha Itachi, and every facial expression to boot (even though, to everyone else, it appeared that Itachi had but one tone with a single facial expression to match it), so Kisame knew that the barely-there emphasis on the second syllable of his name accompanied by slightly drooping eyes implied that Kisame should follow Itachi to his bedroom and possibly stay the night.

_I suppose Itachi is a bit more worried about his brother than he dares let on,_ Kisame internally smirked, trotting after Itachi like a puppy, Samehada dragging unceremoniously behind him. Yes, Kisame loved that sword, but everything took second place when put up against Itachi. And Itachi loved being told that in little ways, such as seeing such disrespect being shown to Samehada by the sword's owner himself.

Kisame saw the ring finger of Itachi's left hand twitch toward his thigh almost imperceptibly and knew that Kisame's gesture of care had been noted and appreciated by his tiny partner. Kisame sped up to walk side by side with the Sharingan user, letting his hand reach out just enough so that on every other step, their fingers brushed.

\---

"Deidara is dead." This time it was Zetsu making the announcement rather than Pain, but it still brought about the same reaction of stunned silence. "He found Uchiha Sasuke and they fought. It seems that Deidara was backed into a corner, and used the only method he had available: He blew himself up with that clay of his, along with everything else within a 10 kilometer radius, Sasuke and Tobi included."

"So, Deidara won, but there were no survivors," Konan mumbled, mostly to herself. "Whoever would've thought he'd have it in him?" 

Beyond Konan's comment, no one dared to speak. After a moment, Pain instructed all to mourn their comrade, Deidara, with the utmost respect. There was no further mention of either Tobi or Sasuke. Deidara was the brave comrade; Tobi had done nothing but run. Cowards were never mourned by the heroes, especially when those heroes were trained to be all but emotionless.

Pain never really dismissed the Akatsuki members, but they all seemed to get the hint after awhile that it was time to go and vanished, one by one. Zetsu sank into the dirt, Konan fluttered into the breeze, and Pain gave Kisame a look as if to say, 'make sure Itachi doesn't do anything stupid' before disappearing. Kisame nodded in understanding a moment after Pain had left them. Itachi didn't vanish, but he did turn in the direction of his bedroom and stalked off. Kisame followed close behind, again dragging Samehada and again catching up eventually only to let their hands fall just close enough to brush fingers every few seconds.

Upon reaching his bedroom, Itachi shrugged off his coat, nodding at Kisame to do the same. Kisame immediately followed the order and made himself comfortable seated on Itachi's bed. Itachi had been standing still, but as soon as Kisame was settled, he made his own way over to the bed and lowered himself beside his partner.

"Aren't you upset? Or sad? Or angry? Or surprised? Or _anything?_ " Kisame couldn't keep himself from asking, even though he knew it would probably offend Itachi.

"Why would I be?" Itachi deadpanned.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because one of your comrades just killed both himself, another comrade, and your _freaking little brother_ in an 'artistic' explosion of clay!" Kisame cried, frustrated at Itachi's lack of emotion.

"Sasuke isn't dead."

"...What?"

"Sasuke isn't dead." Itachi turned his head to give Kisame the illusion that he was looking at him, though Kisame knew that, in reality, Itachi could see nothing but a round, blue blur where his head happened to be.

"Did you hear about the site of Deidara's explosion? He killed everything in the vicinity. There's a giant crater in the earth. How do you suppose Sasuke escaped such a thing?" Kisame didn't mean to be hurtful; he just didn't want Itachi to garner false hope.

"He's an Uchiha. He found a way. He's alive. He may be badly injured, but he's alive and will continue living until he has fought me."

Kisame decided not to answer this, merely nodding his head, then laying back on Itachi's pillow, arms supporting his head. Itachi was still staring into the space where Kisame's face had been just a moment before, but he had felt the movement and knew where Kisame had gone. Itachi followed suit, pulling his silky hair swiftly out of its ponytail and resting his head on the juncture of Kisame's arm and chest.

"You're going to fight him, aren't you?" It sounded more like a resigned statement than a question, and Itachi quirked an eyebrow in acknowledgment of that fact.

"Yes. Was there ever any doubt?"

"And he's going to win."

" … "

"You're going to leave me here, alone. Itachi …"

"Don't argue this. It is what must be done. Please just don't argue it …"

Kisame had never heard Itachi so vulnerable.

"Why can't I argue it, Itachi? You know how I feel about you. Why should I have to just let you walk into a battle where we both know you're going to die without at least fighting to keep you here with me?" Kisame was the closest to tears he could ever remember being.

"Because if you argue it, I don't think I'll be able to go. And I have to go. I have to go." Itachi yawned cutely at the end of his admission, and nuzzled his face into Kisame's chest in a way that suggested Itachi didn't even notice he was doing it. Kisame removed his arm from where it was supporting his own head to wrap it around Itachi's lithe body, resting his hand innocently on Itachi's hip.

Kisame gave Itachi a little squeeze with that arm, settling down to sleep. He knew Itachi would understand this to be a concession on Kisame's part. Kisame would not advise him to skip the fight again. In order to make his beloved happy, Kisame would sacrifice his own happiness. He would give up his light for Itachi to find his own.

\---

"Sasuke is traveling with a group of two or three other highly skilled ninja. Please meet them before Sasuke enters the building and keep the others from entering with Sasuke. I will not have any interference in this fight."

Kisame could only nod. Itachi was really doing it. He was killing himself for Sasuke's sake. Of course, Itachi had never admitted it. In fact, Kisame knew nothing of what had happened between Itachi and his family other than what he had been told by Leader before being stuck with the new recruit as a partner all those years ago. At first, he had thought he was stuck with such a killer because it would give him a run for his money. Kisame was known to kill any new blood—the only ones still there were the only ones good enough to beat him.

But then came the discovery that Itachi was a pacifist. Sure, Itachi would immobilize the enemy with Tsoukoyumi, but it would be up to Kisame to do the actual capture-and-kill deal. Kisame knew from the moment he found out about Itachi's pacifism that Itachi had killed his clan for a reason, and that reason was not to find out how strong he truly was. Kisame could only guess at the truth, but he did have a feeling that the fight about to go down was going to be giving the younger Uchiha brother a heavy advantage, and Itachi was preparing to be on his way, marching off to a sure death, leaving his lover behind.

Kisame wanted to say something sweet and caring, but he couldn't. Kisame just didn't _do_ sweet and caring. He didn't _do_ loving and adorable. He was brash and rude and inappropriate and downright evil at times. Sure, he kissed Itachi, but Itachi always ended up bleeding from the lips and tongue. Sure, Kisame made love to Itachi, but once again, Itachi was left broken and bloody by the end of it. It was just Kisame's way. Itachi knew this and accepted all that Kisame was _because_ that was Kisame's way and understood that the roughness in no way meant that Kisame didn't love Itachi. It was the same general principle that allowed Kisame to keep returning to love Itachi, despite the fact that Itachi never instigated any sort of sexual contact and had never truly expressed his feelings unless he was doing something in response to one of Kisame's more suggestive actions.

Kisame wanted to kiss Itachi. He wanted to hold him and hug him and love him and never let him go. He wanted to write him oodles of love poems and bite him all over so everyone else would know that Itachi was, and would always be, Kisame's. But Kisame knew this would embarrass and anger Itachi rather than woo him, so Kisame refrained. Kisame just looked into Itachi's dark, dark eyes and wished that Itachi could see Kisame, because surely, if Itachi could see the look of longing love in Kisame's abnormally small, round eyes, there's no way he could leave his shark man behind.

But alas, the Mangekyou Sharingan had eliminated almost all practical use of Itachi's beautiful eyes. Itachi left his shark man because he couldn't see how much Kisame truly cared.

As he was walking away, Itachi got the smallest niggling thought in the back of his brain. _That blue idiot loves me. I love that blue idiot. And as sentimental as it is to acknowledge this, I will surely never see him again._ That thought, and that thought alone, brought tears of sorrow to Itachi's eyes.

He pictured his tall partner alone. It looked wrong in Itachi's mind; like Kisame was just standing there, waiting for a short, black-haired Sharingan user to fill in the spot beside him. To fill in the empty spot in his heart. To make him whole again. Itachi knew Kisame was breaking, even though Kisame refused to admit it. It would be a sign of weakness, and if there was anything Kisame was not, it was weak. Itachi turned and flew at Kisame, landing firmly in the taller man's arms, planting a desperate kiss on Kisame's aqua lips.

Kisame wasn't often surprised. Having a pacifist thirteen year old who had killed his entire clan—minus his little brother—in cold blood becoming your partner in crime tends to have the general effect of numbing one to actually being surprised by something. However, at that moment, Kisame was indeed surprised. _Shocked_ even. Itachi had never kissed him before. Heck, Itachi had never even _hugged_ him. Never held his hand. Nothing. _I guess this really is it then. Itachi knows it too._

Kisame put everything he had into that kiss. It would be the last time he touched Itachi. Itachi activated his Sharingan as he pressed his lips so hard against Kisame's that he felt as if soon, he would merge with the other man and they would become the same person. Itachi wanted to be able to see more than just a blur of blue before he left Kisame forever.

They broke apart then and that was that. Kisame reached up and ghosted a caress over Itachi's pale cheek, and the corner of Itachi's mouth twitched as if to give Kisame a brave smile before Itachi turned away once more and leaped toward the spot he had instructed Sasuke to meet him. Kisame's hand was still raised in the air at the exact spot where Itachi's face would've been had he not left Kisame behind for good.

\---

Itachi was dying. He knew it. He had planned it. He did everything for Sasuke. Everything. He took out his entire clan because what his clan was planning could, quite possibly, start a fourth Great Ninja War, and Sasuke had been at that age where he would've been expected to fight, and most likely die, for his country. Itachi couldn't let that happen, under any circumstances. Even if Sasuke grew to hate him, at least Sasuke would be safe.

As he used up his remaining energy to make his way to Sasuke's side, Itachi's thoughts wandered to Kisame. Tall, strong, wonderful Kisame. Sure, Itachi had had admirers back in Konoha, but Kisame was different. For one thing, Itachi would never classify Kisame as an _admirer._ Kisame loved him. He did not admire. Also, Kisame didn't fall all over himself trying to get Itachi's attention. One day, Kisame had just had quite enough of Itachi's subtle teasing and had kissed him, right out in the forest in the middle of a mission. Itachi had officially become a man that very night, though not in the way that he had always expected to.

Kisame was permanent. Itachi could no longer picture himself without the big blue man at his side. It had destroyed both of them when Itachi had instructed Kisame to stay behind. They were a part of each other now. It physically hurt to be separated, but both understood that this was a fight Itachi would have to face alone.

Itachi's final words may have been directed at Sasuke, but his final thoughts were filled with nothing but his lovely Kisame and all the memories he had of his beloved.

\---

Kisame knew the moment the fight had ended. It came in the form of just the slightest nick on the shoulder from Zabuza's—no, Suigetsu's—throat cleaver. In that nick, Kisame knew that his Itachi was gone. He could feel it. His concentration had been lost, and he hoped his own fight would not be interrupted soon, as the loss of his concentration meant that two Akatsuki could possibly lose their lives that day. He wished he could join Itachi, wherever he may be, in an honorable way. His silent prayer was very obviously ignored immediately in the form of Zetsu rising ominously from the ground between the two battling Water Ninja. Well, Kisame had never been religious anyway.

"The fight is over," Zetsu stated. Kisame wanted so badly to ask who had won. Maybe, by some miracle, Sasuke was a heck of a lot weaker than Itachi had expected and Itachi had accidentally killed him while only trying to make it seem as if Itachi was putting his all into the fight. Maybe Itachi was still in this world, gravely injured, but alive. Kisame couldn't keep the hope from leaping up into his heart and nearly choking him.

He couldn't ask though. He was too afraid of getting the negative answer he knew in his heart to be correct. Luckily, one of Sasuke's lackeys—he believed his name to be Juugo—asked the dreaded question in his place.

"Who won?"

Suigetsu and the girl—what was her name? Kurenai? Karin? Kisame really didn't care—grew silent and watched Zetsu with worried eyes. All three of those kids cared for Sasuke in the way Kisame cared for Itachi, Kisame realized. How in the world had such a nasty little boy gained so many fans when his beautiful, sweet, selfless Itachi only had Kisame himself? Kisame shook his head to clear it. It didn't matter. Kisame was all that Itachi needed to be happy. It was no use being angry over the injustice of it all when Itachi himself had never wanted anyone more than Kisame. Plus, it was probably better that there had never been anyone around to make Kisame jealous.

"Sasuke. Uchiha Itachi is dead. Though he did put up a good fight; Sasuke has also collapsed."

Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin all let out very obvious sighs of relief. Kisame used every ounce of willpower he contained not to leap onto Sasuke's posse and beat them to a pulp. Sure, their magnificent Sasuke was okay, but what about Itachi? What about beautiful, amazing, perfect Itachi, who never thought of the welfare of himself, only worrying about his poor little brother?

"What will you do now, Kisame?" Zetsu asked. If Kisame didn't know better, he could've sworn he heard the slightest hint of sympathy in Zetsu's question.

"I don't know. Probably spread my wings a bit. Go off on my own. Take a break from Akatsuki things," Kisame said, more to himself than to Zetsu. Zetsu nodded, then turned to the three ninja still standing in front of Kisame.

"Sasuke is waiting at a safe point a little ways from here. You three need to meet him there for further instruction. Come with me." Zetsu pulled himself completely out of the concrete before swiftly turning on his heel and marching off, Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo following behind at a relatively fast pace. Of course all three of them would want, more than anything, to return to the one they loved. Kisame no longer had that luxury.

Once they were out of sight, Kisame allowed himself to break down, dropping Samehada with a thump and falling heavily to his knees, face buried in his hands. Up until the point Zetsu had confirmed Itachi's death, there was still that spark of hope in Kisame's heart that maybe, just maybe, Itachi had killed Sasuke after all. Maybe Itachi had decided that Kisame was just a little bit more important than Sasuke. Maybe Itachi had _lived._ But all those hopes and dreams came crashing down when Zetsu said those words. _Uchiha Itachi is dead._

Kisame didn't even notice when he stood back up and retrieved Samehada. It was likely that Zetsu had already consumed Itachi's body, but Kisame had to check. He owed it to his partner to see if the body was salvageable and give it a proper burial, even if it was against Akatsuki law.

Kisame was in luck. He found the scene of the fight easily enough; Itachi's signature black flames were burning all around a destroyed building. Dead giveaway, right there. _Dead. Ha ha. What a sad, sad pun,_ Kisame thought to himself bitterly. He leaped all around the slabs of uneven concrete, desperately searching for, and finally finding, Itachi's body.

There it was. Blood covered his fingers and was still dripping lightly from his black eyes. His hair had nearly pulled itself free of its ponytail, and his clothing was torn and disheveled. For the first time in his life, Kisame wanted to cry, yet no tears came. The depth of his grief was too much for him to handle as he scooped up the limp body of his beloved and began to run. He would bury Itachi and mourn in peace. His poor Itachi. His poor, dear Itachi.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if Itachi or Kisame are out of character...I know I took some liberties with their "hidden" personalities here.


End file.
